I went out for dinner last night with a friend, and Indian food was on the menu.
Which wasn’t exactly surprising, considering we were sitting in an Indian restaurant.
Normally I quite like Cuisine a la Indian (Look at that ! I speak French!), and while last night was no exception on the taste scale, the meal had a deep and profound effect on me.
I have spent the last week sticking to this ridiculous diet and exercise plan, and have had the grand total of five tuna, cheese & egg sandwiches (great for fresh breath!) for the whole week.
Consuming spice laden, ghee cooked dishes, regardless of how divinely tasty they are, is not such a good idea after a week of such dietary discipline.
That saucy goat (Stop thinking of a goat in a maid’s uniform doing a burlesque number!) seemed to be in a hurry to get to another appointment, because it virtually waved at my stomach on its way past, and headed straight for the exit.
Now I’ll let you in on a little secret about yours truly, Occasional Reader.
I have a slight phobia about using public toilets. While it’s not a debilitating fear or anything, things have to be pretty damned desperate for me to sit down in one of them. Not desperate. Essential!
Conversely, I stubbornly refused to allow the exit of the formerly four legged beastie from my innards.
I was able to pass off the sweat beads on the forehead and the occasional cross eyed grimace as a side effect of having such wonderfully spicy food.
I was equally fortunate to be able to explain the stiff legged gait back home as my recently pulled groin muscle stiffening up (You have no idea what I’ve been doing to a packet of frozen peas the last couple of days. It might even be illegal in some states).
Thankfully, I had the inner fortitude and control to keep the internal sluice gates lowered until we got back to her place.
I can’t be so flippant or positive about what happened after that.
Suffice to say, she now has a deep phobia about using her own toilet after a guest has been in there.
Shoes – Kenneth Cole New York
Trousers – Marcs
Shirt – Arthur Galan
